Aaah! Satireday once again! We have had some soggy days this week, but today has dawned bright and breezy. I am in a good mood having recovered from a very stressful day earlier this week.
"Please take the boys with you, Gordon"
Harvest had asked me if I would mind going to the Mobile Library again to take The Secret Diary of A Call Duck back. As she no longer has Alice to run her errands, she seems to have taken me under her wing as her ever-willing companion and as such I find myself involved in the most outrageous of predicaments - like the Library run.
"Would you mind taking Neddie and Seagoon with you please Gordon?" asked Mrs One-Eye when she heard that I was going. Not one to shirk my responsibilities, I said "Of course!" And I thought that they might be company. We set off across the field with the very long grass in it and the boys were dashing here and there and playing Hide and Seek. I had to have eyes in the back of my head. I wondered how on earth Mrs One-Eye coped.
We crossed the neighbouring cow's field which was by now very flat and full of Cow Pats - some as hard as rock; some turned over by the fox looking for bugs and some quite plainly fresh and gooey. The boys looked thrilled and suggested we play a game of leaping from Pat to Pat. I must say, looking back, it was probably one of my more fortunate decisions to discourage them from this pastime until we were on our return journey.
"Would you mind taking Neddie and Seagoon with you please Gordon?" asked Mrs One-Eye when she heard that I was going. Not one to shirk my responsibilities, I said "Of course!" And I thought that they might be company. We set off across the field with the very long grass in it and the boys were dashing here and there and playing Hide and Seek. I had to have eyes in the back of my head. I wondered how on earth Mrs One-Eye coped.
We crossed the neighbouring cow's field which was by now very flat and full of Cow Pats - some as hard as rock; some turned over by the fox looking for bugs and some quite plainly fresh and gooey. The boys looked thrilled and suggested we play a game of leaping from Pat to Pat. I must say, looking back, it was probably one of my more fortunate decisions to discourage them from this pastime until we were on our return journey.
"Hello Miss Manse," I nimbly scooted up the step into the Library.
"Why Gordon dear - how lovely to see you! And who are these fine fellows?"
"Errr - this is Neddie and this is Seagoon," I pointed my wing in their direction.
"They bear an uncanny resemblance to you dear," Miss Manse raised a curly grey eyebrow.
"Uhmm, I have come to change Harvest's book," I said quickly changing the subject. "Harvest asked if we could find her a couple of detective stories please?"
We chose the new books and sped off back towards home. The boys seemed very keen to get in the cow field and started whooping with exhilaration as they bounced from one Cow Pat to another. Admittedly it made the return journey a lot quicker as they boinged in generally the right direction - until, yes! Neddie jumped in a very large and very gooey Cow Pat. He let out a cry of dismay and Seagoon galloped around laughing hysterically. Neddie stood on the bare grass holding his left leg aloft which was now dripping with thick greeny black cow doods.
"What on earth will your Mother say?" Was all I could utter. It wasn't helpful and quite unneccessary and I quickly realised we had to clean the leg before we got home or I would be in the greatest of trouble.
"Why Gordon dear - how lovely to see you! And who are these fine fellows?"
"Errr - this is Neddie and this is Seagoon," I pointed my wing in their direction.
"They bear an uncanny resemblance to you dear," Miss Manse raised a curly grey eyebrow.
"Uhmm, I have come to change Harvest's book," I said quickly changing the subject. "Harvest asked if we could find her a couple of detective stories please?"
We chose the new books and sped off back towards home. The boys seemed very keen to get in the cow field and started whooping with exhilaration as they bounced from one Cow Pat to another. Admittedly it made the return journey a lot quicker as they boinged in generally the right direction - until, yes! Neddie jumped in a very large and very gooey Cow Pat. He let out a cry of dismay and Seagoon galloped around laughing hysterically. Neddie stood on the bare grass holding his left leg aloft which was now dripping with thick greeny black cow doods.
"What on earth will your Mother say?" Was all I could utter. It wasn't helpful and quite unneccessary and I quickly realised we had to clean the leg before we got home or I would be in the greatest of trouble.
I re-arranged my dishevelled feathers
As I said earlier we have had a rather wet week and the thick swards of clover in the long-grass field were a blessing. Neddie scooped backwards and forwards, to and fro, until his leg was pristine once more. His little toenails shone like Honey's pearly white teeth in contrast to his black and shimmering leg. He again held the leg up for our inspection and Seagoon and I considered it clean and shiny once more.
And settled down for an afternoon nap
"Hello Gordon. How did you get on with the boys?" asked Mrs One-Eye.
"No problem at all Mrs One-Eye," and I bustled off to give Harvest her two books from the Mobile Library.
"Merci beaucoup, Gordon. Parfait!" Harvest ambled contentedly back to her bed with the omnibus edition of Dixon of Duck Green and the story of the infamous Scottish vehicle thief - The Life and Times of Car-Key Campbell tucked securely under her wing. And I went back to the stable whereupon I re-arranged my dishevelled feathers and settled down for a much needed afternoon snooze. Gordon xxx
"No problem at all Mrs One-Eye," and I bustled off to give Harvest her two books from the Mobile Library.
"Merci beaucoup, Gordon. Parfait!" Harvest ambled contentedly back to her bed with the omnibus edition of Dixon of Duck Green and the story of the infamous Scottish vehicle thief - The Life and Times of Car-Key Campbell tucked securely under her wing. And I went back to the stable whereupon I re-arranged my dishevelled feathers and settled down for a much needed afternoon snooze. Gordon xxx