I replied that it had been an uneventful one, the sort of which I am always grateful for.
"I didn't sleep at all well. That is why I am walking skew-whiff. I'm sure there was something hard in the bed." And with that Mum zigzagged off with a buckled gait.
It reminded me of The Princess and The Pea story. But of course Mum was no Princess and whether or not there was a pea under the mattress remains unknown. Although Mum does make a fuss about a single grain of corn if it drops into her Welly Boot. Perhaps she does have royal connections after all?
"Do tell us about The Princess and The Pea please, Great Uncle Gordon!"
"The story tells of a handsome Prince who wants to marry a Princess, but is having difficulty finding a suitable wife. Some are too fat, some are too thin, some are ugly, some are greedy and he just can't be sure they are real princesses. One stormy night a young woman soaked by the rain seeks shelter in the Castle. She claims to be a Princess, so the Queen decides to test their unexpected guest by putting a pea in the bed she is offered for the night. Then she covered it with 20 mattresses and 20 feather-beds. In the morning, the young woman tells the Prince and his family that she had endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed that she is certain has bruised her. The Prince is jubilant! Only a real Princess would have the sensitivity to feel a pea through such a quantity of bedding, so the two are married."
Seemingly satisfied with that version of the tale, the youngsters got on with their grub-controlling duties.
And off lopsided Mum.
"Nanny! You have uncovered my most treasured piece of Pig's Ear that I had hidden from Harvey!" Honey was inconsolable.
Certainly no Princess then!